


We're Getting There

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Nightmares, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sad, domestic abuse, mentions of domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard had never wanted to hurt Frankie. But he was angry and reckless when he was drunk. And Gerard quickly got to be spending a lot of time drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Getting There

Nearly every night for the past year, Gerard had slept uneasily. Every few nights, Frank would stir within the night and Gerard would have to witness his boyfriend’s vivid nightmares. He’d have to watch as Frank thrashed around and mumbled restlessly. It was even worse for Gerard, since he knew exactly what Frank was dreaming of. He had a crystal clear picture of what was going on in his boyfriend’s head. 

Frank had uncharacteristically pushed himself out of Gerard’s arms a couple minutes ago, and was now moving around and whimpering at random. The bed now felt oddly cold, even though Frank was only a few feet away from him. Gerard wished that Frank would just fall into a dreamless sleep, and find his way back into his boyfriend’s arms. But he knew that wouldn’t happen. He mostly just prayed that the quiet whimpers would not go any further. Gerard didn’t think he could handle it if Frank started to talk, like he would occasionally did. But soon Frank’s whimpers graduated into quiet and distressed mumbles.

“S-stop,” Frank mumbled. 

Gerard felt an enormous lump rise up in his throat.

“Gee,” he said quietly, tears now escaping his eyes, “you… you promised you’d stop.”

Gerard did stop. He hadn’t laid a hand on Frank in over a year. He didn’t want to hurt him, he had never  _ wanted  _ to hurt Frankie. But Gerard was angry and reckless when he was drunk. And Gerard quickly got to be spending a lot of time drunk. 

“Stop!” Frank whined, louder this time.

Frank still wasn’t okay. As much as he tried to convince Gerard that he was fine, that he was over it, Gerard knew that he never would be. He wasn’t okay because of Gerard. He was constantly haunted by the memories of Gerard’s angry slaps and harsh words. 

Memories flashed back into Gerard’s mind. Memories of times when he would come home late at night, drunk and angry, and he’d take out all of his anger on Frankie. He’d wake up to Frank’s tear-stained face and the blacks and blues that decorated his once flawless skin. Realizing what he’d done, he’d gather Frank into his arms and apologize to him. He’d hold him, kiss him and make him breakfast. They’d watch TV together or just cuddle sleepily. They’d be happy until the next night, when Gerard would go out again and come back in a drunken rage. As Frank listened to the terrible things Gerard shouted at him and took the punches Gerard threw at him, he simply wished that he could fast forward until the next morning; until Gerard was sober. After all, Gerard never hit Frank when he was sober. He couldn’t help it if his boyfriend was an angry drunk. 

What it took for Frank to leave was coming home from work in the middle of the day and finding Gerard laid back on the couch. There were empty bottles everywhere, and a shockingly white substance laid out in neat lines on the coffee table. It took Gerard noticing Frank’s presence and trying to coax him into doing a few lines. Frank remembered it clearly. 

“Come on Frankie, come on. You gotta try this. It’ll make you feel so good, better than sex, better than I make you feel.”

“You don’t make me feel good.”

That had been his worst mistake. That had caused the light and bubbly feeling in Gerard’s stomach to dissipate and be replaced with the worst kind of anger.

That night had been the last straw. Frank remembered blinking back tears as he packed a small back and wrote Gerard a note, ignoring the pain he felt in the places where Gerard had hit him. When the elder awoke in the middle of the night to a cold bed, he found Frank’s note and read all of it. Twice. Frank was gone. Frank still loved him, but he didn’t want to see him ever again unless Gerard was sober. Frank didn’t love drunk Gerard. 

Soon enough, the lack of Frank’s joyful presence in their apartment had made Gerard realize that he truly needed him. He couldn’t stand it when Frank was gone. He missed his obnoxiously loud guitar, he missed how Frank would get frustrated with him for leaving his wet paintbrushes in the sink, he missed Frank’s vegetarian dinners… He just missed Frank. 

Gerard had finally realized that he couldn’t drink anymore. When he cleaned up his act, he showed up on the doorsteps of Frank’s family home with his hair freshly cut, a flower in one hand and a bar of Frank’s favourite type of chocolate in the other.

This was over a year ago.

Although Frank had taken him back, and Gerard hadn’t let a single drop of alcohol slip past his lips, neither of them had gotten over what had happened. Frank still wasn’t okay.

That much was made obvious with Frank’s frequent nightmares.

This was the worst one Frank had had in awhile. A thin sheet of sweat covered his forehead, his cheeks were stained with tears, and he was tossing and turning and covering himself with his arms. 

“Baby…” Gerard muttered helplessly, shaking Frank’s shoulder.

Usually, Gerard didn’t wake Frank up, he just let the nightmare run its course and they didn’t typically last for too long. This time however, he couldn’t stand to just sit there and watch.

“Frankie… Come on, wake up. Wake up, sweetheart.” 

Suddenly, Frank jolted awake. When he saw Gerard in the dark light of their bedroom, he scampered as far away from Gerard as he could be without falling off the bed.

“Frankie,” Gerard spoke, trying to make his voice sound calming, “Frankie it was just a dream. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

Frank, becoming more aware of the fact that he was no longer dreaming, took deep shuddery breaths and dried his eyes. 

“Baby,” Gerard spoke, his voice cracking, “Please forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

Frank crawled over to where Gerard was on their bed and wrapped his arms around him. He pressed his face into Gerard’s shoulder and tried not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard cried, petting Frank’s hair, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Frank simply nodded his head. He knew Gerard was sorry. 

“I love you,” Gerard told him, “I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

“I love you too,” Frank assured him, his voice slightly muffled. 

A couple minutes later, they had both calmed down. The light from the moon shone through the window and in this moment, Gerard thought that maybe it was okay that Frank was still hurting. Maybe he’d be okay someday. Gerard thought that maybe he’d be okay too.

 

They’d be okay. They were getting there. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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